Poetry and Welcome

I'm writing this poem and it's turning out well but it's giving me some trouble. I think what I'm missing is a main theme. So I thought I'd post it and get some thoughts.

But first here's this picture I thought was hilarious. 

Every sci-fi, fantasy drama I love in one photo. So funny. 

Anyways here is that poem I was talking about. It is so far from finished. I might even break it up into a few separate poems. But here you go! There is no ending yet either so be prepared for that! 

Farm Hands, Some Land

Oh redemption redemption

I'm turning my eyes toward ascension.

I attempt to understand, 

How resurrection

Turned a hot summer to rain

And a dead sinner alive again.

For years I collected in my basket made for grain
Crimson memories.
Woven like the straw.
Deeply colored,
Worn and raw.
White was the cloth placed over my arms.

No more days of gathering 

Sifting fingers through the sand.

Searching for the pearl of greatest treasure,

And a place to bury my wasted pleasure 

Eyes towards the sun

Feet running towards a not so distant land.

Promised to my Fathers 

And forgotten by the sons who stayed their hands.

Whispered words in my caverned chest,

Lead me true.

I'll trade suffering for my cowards hue.

I fear all the things I left behind

And out of sight

The vagabonds inside my skin and sleeves,

Will follow me.

Delilah steals my sleep at night 

Where does your power lie? 

My own ambitions a weak surprise
And a dimness unforseen.

But moonlight gazes overhead.

Freshly woken out of a slumbering world.

And if she can rise in the darkness stead 

I can follow the sunlight 

reflected in her craters bend. 

I'm no mariner

But a gatherer with a quiet bed,

And a few more steps.

Becoming less of stone 

And more like flesh and more like bone.

Never once were my eyes so clearly open,

To the way my own hands 

Make the things they gather what they are.

Connected by the way they fill my arms,

And my soul.

Oh I reap all the things I've sown.

Redemption Redemption

Calling me forever to ascension .

My heart turned towards that sacred hill,

I'm following the steps 

My blistered feet could never fill.

Tell me about the promise. 

I need something true to stand on,

Weakness is the natural state 

Of the heart that's sitting still.

Look into my eyes 

They're bright and full of sky 

But there's a gnawing creeping 

A well I've drawn from often

Sealed inside 

My bucket's sinking faster

Looking for a comfort from a past and parted time. 

......

I love it but I'm so torn by it too. It's about a journey. I kind of draw some metaphor from being a farmer and doing the same thing over and over. Then being touched by grace, being moved by a pureness that causes you to question and follow a new path but at the same time questioning your own place there. There's a longing for two worlds, the one you want to know and the one you're familiar with. 

Thanks for your support people who read my blog. I love you all! 

And welcome back Master's Commision from your month on the road! I can't wait to see all your beautiful faces.

- J 

Runner

So today I just thought I'd update you all on something in my life that I'm really excited about. 

I've been hearing from the Lord that I need to get in shape. At first I was shocked that God would care about something like that. After mulling it over with Him I discovered how much this is more then just being in shape but learning discipline on a whole new level. 

I started with p90X and the last few weeks added running to my routine. Then this last week I ran 15 miles.

There were plenty of moments where I just wanted to give up, where I was cursing the ground I ran on but in the end I made it! In one session I ran five miles straight at a pace of 8:30. Just a month ago I clocked my mile at 11 minutes. This is a huge leap for me!

 I'm miles from where I want to be (no pun intended) but I can feel myself changing. 

I feel like I'm finally reclaiming some ground that was lost in my life years ago. I remember being slender at 126 pounds, playing basketball, running everyday and enjoying my fitness. Then I just began to lose it. I stopped caring and let things go, let myself go. But no longer! I'm picking this baton back up in my life and I'm running the race set before me. 

I think this new phase is bringing me even closer to the word. Passages are coming alive for me. Especially this one in Romans 8. 

Romans 8:11

 If the Spirit of  him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies _b through his Spirit who dwells in you.

Boy have I needed some of that Spirit giving life this past week in a totally different way. There were times when I was literally just praying this over and over as I huffed and puffed along. I'm certainly going new places and I'm excited for how this is shaping my life and will eventually shape my future. 

- J 

Simple Thoughts

I love being loved by a God who loves me at my very worst.

My life has a healthy dose of failure and apologizing in it.

He's GOOD, what else can I say? For this my life is blessed and however I feel my heart is praise.

I'm grateful today to be able to say "I love you."

There's plenty of things I'm not but who cares, really? Haha! I'm laughing at how much I think about myself negatively. I'm reminded of something the beautiful Christy Lawson told me. "Ask yourself, do I have thoughts about me that God doesn't have about me?"

"For  My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD."  Isaiah 55:8

I REFUSE to be worried about my current spiritual muscle and instead worry about my very physical jiggle. Focus shifts are good right?

Prayer keeps me sane.

Hurray for good bread. Is this last one random. It's just a thought I has about how delicious a nice crunchy loaf of french bread with cheese is. Grateful for the little things I guess.

Life is beautiful. Cliche but true everyday.

- J

A Whisper, A Weeper

I was told once that I would ascend a mountain to the high and lonely places and meet God. This idea makes me think of Elijah as he fled Jezebel to a cave in the mountains. Great winds, an earthquake and fire shook the cave but the word says the Lord was not in them. Then at last a still small voice like  breeze wafted over the air and Elijah stood out and listened.

I was told once that when you translate the original greek in Genesis, where Adam heard God walking in the garden, the text says that Adam heard God's voice in the wind. (I'm quoting this from Dutch Sheet's "Becoming Who You Are" series.) Dutch even goes so far as to conjecture that perhaps God often appeared as a whisper on the wind to Adam while he was in the garden.

God is so marvelously present. So much so that even the wind carries His breath.

To quote the song above.

"You are not alone in this."

I'm sure how to step into such a destiny as I know the Lord has for me. I imagine great things, waves of people being taken into God's heart. But maybe I'm just a whisper in an ear of a prophet, a whisper telling someone with great shame that they aren't alone.

I experienced this recently in fact. I just had the right words at the right time for the right person. Someone that I've been praying for for months fell into my arms sobbing over only four words I spoke. They had just confessed something painful to me and I turned my heart and listened to God. All I heard Him say was "You don't deserve this." It was just a whisper, but the impact was immense. I felt closer to the heart of God and closer to my own brokenness then I had for quite some time. It was hardly before they were out of my mouth then this beautiful person fell into me. I just held them and felt God pouring out love over them as they wept.

This is what life is all about. My word this is what life is all about! I was so humbled that it was just a small voice, spoken in love that so completely dismantled a soul. But isn't that what the word says. It's the kindness of God that brings us to repentance. To know that someone thinks we're lovable when we believe we're trash. To see ourselves as worthless and hear "No, you don't deserve this." from another human being. I felt myself disarmed just the same as the person I was holding up.

The devil is a liar. Jesus only speaks truth in love. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it's soft but always it racks us to the core. The world needs more voices and trumpets and also more whispers in the wind in the high and lonely places of people's souls.

I am a voice, you are a voice. Believe it.

- J

Cartoons and Memories

 This blog begins with a little bit about my childhood.

When I was a little kid my brothers and I watched all sorts of cartoons. We weren't junkies and our parents didn't placate us with television or anything like that. In fact we didn't even have cable till I was around 8 years old. I remember coming home from school excited because my mom had hinted there was a surprise at home. My brother ran inside first and by the time I got there was watching Rocco's Modern Life. Hoops and hollers filled the air!  Having cartoons was a big deal. We loved 90's nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. Such favorites as, Dexter's Lab, Angry Beavers, Rocket Power, Kablam! and so many others. Of course there were those more intense off the cuff t.v. shows like Dragon Ball Z, Johnny Quest and X-Men. Being in a family of three boys I couldn't help but be pulled in to the action, adventure shows.

 We we're and are a crazy, fun bunch!

I'm going somewhere with this. 

One of our favorite animated series was Batman Beyond and we were obsessed! The dark, empty portrayal of a near future fascinated our melancholy sense of the world. Even as children my brothers and I had a deep understanding that life wasn't all roses and sunshine. I think a lot of this is due to all the different lifestyles we lived in a very short period of time. I moved 18 times before I was 17. My family's been poor, wealthy, lost everything and then poor once again. We've lived in the inner city where we had to run down the street from gunshots and out in comfortable suburbs where we road bikes from dawn till dusk over calm and gentle streets. The world was an always changing, uncertain place. My family and my God were my constants and my peace. Although life was crazy my random childhood doesn't haunt me, if anything all our struggles made me stronger and wiser. If anything my life was a breeze in comparison to many of the people I've come to meet. I always had love, many don't. I had parents that lived radically in love with Jesus. Rarely to people get to see their parents demonstrate such passion for the Lord. I know the Lord's hand saved me from a lot more evil that I could have easily gotten into. I'm grateful for where I've been and where I am now. 

But why am I saying all this? I think I'm feeling nostalgic because I recently came across an amazing website called 12 Illustrations for artists to feature and share different pieces they've done. There is a new theme every month and the theme for April is Batman Beyond. I've been in awe of all the amazing posts and remembering my sweet childhood and all the animated series I used to love.

Here's a few of my favorite pieces.
 

If you have a moment take the time to like 12 Illustrations on facebook. The creator is Dylan Rose a talented artist and old family friend :)

I hope this has been a fun trip down memory lane. It was for me.

- J

Just Relax

After I worked out today I felt like a beast! I'm really starting to feel and see improvement after 7 days of working out with P90X. But I thought it'd be good for my constitution to relax a little So I took a little break. I listened to some good music and this song really melted me. Often it's good to just be wrapped up by well done, simple music. Here it is for your ears.





Just let it warm you.

Sincerely,

Jaelle the Clay.

KONY 2012

This is a movement to make Joseph Kony infamous. As the leader of the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army) in Africa he has abducted and violently brainwashed 30,000 children. It's time more governments stepped in to stop this injustice. You can watch the movie here and share it with everyone you know. 

If this gets enough attention I believe Joseph Kony can be stopped. The timing of this movement is powerful. I can just feel the heart of God moving in every part of it. It's genius, inspired directly from heaven. It's time the children of Africa lived without fear.

Sincerely,

Jaelle the Ready and Willing!