For Us

For Us

Please say to the wide eyed

Orphaned girl,

About the family she’s been waiting for.

And the damaged son

With his heart on the run

Tell him spring brings a brand new sound.

Sing songs to that lonely beggar,

Lift the heart of a soul

Very far from home.

All we ever want,

Is to finally reach solid ground,

And someone we can trust.

There’s comes a time

When the scars we carry

Will start carrying us.

And crippling are the cracks 

That seem to grow 

Out of our hands.

No matter how much we keep walking

We can’t seem to rid ourselves,

Of the worry 

Gathering dust upon our shelves.

And the holes 

Inside our ragged shoes

Keep growing bigger by hour.

Until someone climbs upon a hidden tower,

How will any lost ever be found?

It’s when the hand 

Reaches through

The iron prison bars,

That the dream of seeing sunlight

Doesn’t seem so very far.

Please tell the hopless watchmen

With his eyes upon the dawn,

That the light will always come.

Gentle be the hands that bathe 

The gorgeous, broken ones.

Remembering the first time 

You came home.

And were cradled in warm waters of forgiveness.

And the love that you had missed,

Kissed you gently

Like a friend you’d always known.

Don’t let another person live alone.

Take a moment now to gather

And remember 

That our hearts were made for time

Like a parchment in bottle 

With a message hidden somewhere deep inside

Drifiting off to float in someones sea

And be opened by a pair of waiting hands

Anxious for another persons land

We’re too alive too just stand still

And let our arms be empty

When the treasures that we’ve dreamed of

Are just one adventure from

Our creeking porch.

Please say to the hopeful,

Watchful world,

That you’re here to tell a story.

The final word

Is one they’ve heard

That there’s more then silence waiting

When the branches they’ve been climbing

Open up to greater skies

And everything they’ve ever dreamed about

Is realized.

I'm still in the process of completing this poem but thought it was important to share it. I can't really describe except to say that our comfort zones at times keep us from communicating to the people who need us most. I mean that at a very human level. In a very human way we all need people. Perhaps someone needs you, needs your touch, your listening ear. And just as well you need them. To be kind is the ultimate human experience. You need to be kind just as much as someone needs kindness. It touches the givers heart perhaps even more then the receivers. So this is my message for us. Touch a soul, be a soul. 

Sincerely, 

Jaelle The Giver.

The River Soul

There is a bubbling River

But all she ever breathes

Are the bodies of my friends

With current strong

She leads them on

Until they're dying all alone

There's another one who's out there

At the bottom of the River Soul

My arms aren't strong enough to take you home

Tie us to some great old mast

Cause a sirens call is tempting us to her

My ship was made for sailing

And my heart was made for ventures out on sea

But watching you

Is taking all the breath I've left to breathe

Your oars are making waves within the soul that beats in me

All i know is we're one boat short

And it's lying on the bottom of the tortured River Soul

You decided you were hungry for a home

Even if the water there was cold

I'll light my lamp again

The one you strapped together when we had no fire or gun

And remember how your face looked in the sun

When ships begin to wander in the night

I hope they see your light

And start to come

I'll tell them 'bout the bodies at the bottom of the River Soul

And the loneliness it leaves

The sorrow that it heaves

Pray another man won't bury his tired bones

But instead find a harbor wher he'll plant his heart and grow

And leave the unkind winds that blew him here behind

Cause the world is just too beautiful

And we are too alive

Our pockets weren't made to hold the wrongs we think are right

I'd rather look into the stars and know

That though they hover in the darkest sea

They manage to still shine their silver light right over me

Meanwhile I'll stay living

With one promise hanging on my ragged sleeves

That day will always come

Whether I go search for her, she'll search for me

I'll go carving wakes in chase of weary, broken hulls

Making sure another man won't leave alone

In search of cruel waters that will lead him to the River Soul

This is a poem I wrote about people getting into depression and becoming isolated and alone until eventually so taken over by disappointment and disillusionment they're unreachable. They're rowed their oars to the bottom of the River Soul so to speak. It's also about my heart to steer people clear and remind them of the beauty of life and the power of a new day. There is always, always something to praise God for in our lives. Even if it takes a little looking and digging. Even if all we have is the promise that tomorrow is coming, that morning always follows night and it won't be the same as yesterday. Maybe that sounds pretentious considering I don't lead a very dark or bleak life. But I've seen people in the darkest depths, living literal hell on earth look for the ray of sunshine and let it guide them back home. They choose to throw their burdens on mercies shoulders and live life with Christ by their side. And I've seen Christ transform the bleakest moments of my life and make me stronger, wiser and more at peace. It's impossible but true, that's who God is.

His mercies are new every day. That's His promise.

Sincerely,

Jaelle the Hopeful

What I Do With My Free Time/ New Project!

I'm in this interesting phase of having a good amount of free time. If I'm not cleaning, cooking, reading, writing or job hunting I like to peruse the internet for things I wish I could buy. Sounds kind of torturing doesn't it? But I've realized, all these creative things that people are selling on the internet are things i could totally make myself! I mean, why not? So my most recent find was this gorgeous sign on Etsy. com 

Just brace yourself for how wonderful this is. 

I wants it. 

But since the price tag is pretty hefty I decided to take on a new project and see if I could make something like this. All I need is some scrap wood (shouldn't be hard to find), paint (see previous parentheses), and painting skills (perhaps a bit harder to find). I'll be updating you on the situation as it progresses :)

I like challenging myself. Especially when it comes to creative ideas that seem out of my reach. God always seems to meet me in my imagination when I go out on a limb. So I can't wait to see what this new sign project is going to produce, especially what it will reveal about myself.

Sincerely, 

Jaelle the feelin motivated and crafty.

The Genesis Project

So I went to a prayer meeting in Seatac for a group called Genesis Project on Saturday.

This was one of those out of body experiences. But first let me give some background on who they are.

Genesis Project is (in very short) a safe house for minors caught in prostitution or other sexual exploitation. A group of Christian officers in the Sea tac area were frustrated that they were forced to take young girls and boys they found being exploited straight to juvenile hall. They alerted several churches that they wanted an inbetween house. A sort of safe haven where they could drop off teens to get real counseling, love and healing.

This is a picture from their website.

(You can click the picture or this link to go there)

A few years later Genesis Project is now off the ground with it's first safe house in downtown Sea tac.

I heard about an opportunity to go to the safe house and pray and worship and knew I couldn't miss it. Well right before we left I did consider staying home and watching a movie on the couch but in the end I did make it out the door. I went with a friend named Erin (who was also my ride). We drove to the meeting a good forty five minutes away from my house and in the middle of a very shifty looking part of town. We sat in the car when we arrived and debated for a few minutes whether or not we had actually made it to Genesis Project or had somehow landed ourselves at some seedy bar. We ended up getting out and just taking a risk. I was honestly afraid to open the door. All the windows were covered with what looked like black garbage bags and old posters. Erin and I looked at each other, I took a deep breath and we ventured, into the fray!

Well the inside was alot nicer then the outer. The colors were warm and modern. There was a cute little foyer with couches and a bar. We talked with a few other brave souls who had made it to the meeting and after a few minutes of talk we walked to the adjoining room for worship. There were aisles of chairs a proper stage and this beautiful fresco of Michaelangelo's hands of God and Adam on one of the walls.

Here's a picture to help you well... picture it.

(But what I liked about the one in Genesis Project is that Adam's arm had all these crazy tattoos on it.)

Anyways we worshipped and the presence of God was so thick. Now I always cry when the Holy Spirit touches me. I was definitely tearing up in worship but I didn't start really losing it until we began to pray. There is a verse in Isaiah that I was lead to speak over the men and women who would be receiving help at this safe house. It says that "violence will no longer be heard on your streets." I wept aloud and I prayed for healing from violence over the exploited men and women walking through their doors. I also declared that verse about the new city of Zion over the city of Seattle and Sea tac. 

Needless to say after that I was a wreck the entire night.

We walked around the building praying for different rooms. I walked into a room with a few beds and a shower. I sat down on a bed and knew that women who had never felt real rest in their lives, women who have been haunted. would be lying on these beds and perhaps for the first time feel some sort of safety. I walked into the adjacent shower room and could almost see young people trying desperately to wash away the faces, the memories of their past. I prayed the water would wash their Spirits, that they would walk out with more then clean bodies but also cleaner hearts. I continued to shed tears for the nameless faces of the people I was seeing.

At the end of the night we came together and prayed for some of the volunteers. One of them is a girl I know named Denise who organized the whole prayer and worship night. I saw in my mind, while we prayed, a girl backed into a corner with a slash through her lip and scars under her eyes. I saw the way the volunteers tenderly wiped the blood away and rubbed their fingers over her scars and said, "Beautiful." 

I shared this with the group and several of us began to cry. I was weeping so hard I could hardly get it out. I declared over them  the power to call beauty out of ashes and convince even the unwinnable of their true value. 

I left the night feeling so glad that I had stepped a few inches out of my comfort zone. I didn't get to see someone delivered. I didn't do very much. But as my heart poured out for this safe house and the Holy Spirit broke my heart for men and women I didn't even know I knew something powerful had been released. Something I might never have the chance to see but was honored to be apart of. God has great things for that safe house and especially for the broken people who will be walking through it's doors. I hope I have another chance to go again soon. 

At the end of that experience I realized how much more I need to give myself away. There's too much happening in the world for me to be stagnant. I think having your heart broken by the Lord is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to a person. Anything that reminds us that we are not the center of the universe is always a good thing. 

I think tomorrow I'll take another step outside my comfort zone, I heard it's in that place, of uncertainty and wonder, where life really begins. 

Sincerely, 

Jaelle the Broken-hearted

Feel Like Flying?

Experience Human Flight from Betty Wants In on Vimeo.

The Great Daniel Fast

It's day two of the great Daniel Fast at my church. Our pastor called for a period of fasting in order to increase our hearts for the lost. I'm sure that generations from now they'll still be talking about the sacrifice, dedication and tremendous heart of the ones who for forty days...ate nothing but fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Ok so it doesn't sound so epic but you know what its certainly harder then it sounds!

Added to that my family is fasting television and is watching limited movies. Now nobody can deny, the weight of that idol is pretty hefty no matter who you are. I think the National Average is something around 153 hours per month of tv just consumed in the home by an individual. Even though I cringe at the thought of how much productive time that wastes I know my number probably slips in towards the top of that ominous national average. What can I say? I love watching Project Runway with my Dad.

 But I can already see how much change this is already bringing. My home feels like a different place. There's a serenity about it without the t.v. going or something playing in the background. I'm also finding that denying myself some cheese and meat is easier then I thought. Now my family has been on the alkaline diet, which is a Daniel Fast basically, for the last few months. So I'm used to chomping down on a few almonds rather then cooking up some nachos in the microwave.

Most importantly I'm not only seeing how many bad t.v. habits and dairy cravings I have but how little my mind is truly focused on the Lord. How quickly He is hardly a thought in my head. How easily my day is devoted to checking the labels on the back of food to see if there's any added sugar instead of remembering the goodness of God I'm giving sugar up for in the first place!

 But despite my very human self focus theres also this sense of newness in the air. Like plastic being ripped from the edge of a package. Somethings being opened and I can't wait to see what God is going to do. I have a feeling I'll be telling my grand kids the story of this fast. They'll climb up on my wrinkled, old knee, chubby faces beaming asking for stories. Once again I'll tell them about the miracles that happened during a short 40 day period of my life. Its only day two and I already feel the legend manifesting in my bones. I know this fast will affect our church for a very long time. You just can't have hundreds of people sacrificing their idols and consecrating themselves to God without a fantastic movement of the Holy Spirit and the mercy of God being poured out like a river.

 Something great and Holy is coming this way. I hope I'm ready to meet it.

I Dream in Summer

Someday

Wounded Soldiers

"The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children of this earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living... In love's service only wounded soldiers can serve." -Thornton Wilder

So I'm being convicted right now. I think I've misunderstood some of the things God has brought me through for a long time. Could it be that the hard things we bear as God's kids are to make us ready for service in His army of lovers. It is only those who have bore Hell on their backs and been miraculously released that can ever go back and carry souls out. Otherwise wouldn't we cringe at the thought when we see another human being going through the flames?

I have to admit sometimes when I notice that people are going through Hell instead of reaching into their world I cling desperately to the heaven I selfishly try and make of my own life. When I see homeless people on the street, no doubt those who have been through things I can't even imagine, it's too painful for me. I'm ashamed to say, most times I turn my back to avoid the gaze of someone whose life has been tormented by the heat of the Devil's fire. Why is that?

Maybe i need an awakening and maybe God knows exactly how to do that by bringing hard things into my life that require me running to the feet of God and remembering His love for me. That way when I look at that man on the street who's forgotten what it feels like to have a hot shower and I can remember how God has carried me out of my own Hell and know, with faith, that God can do the same for him! I can't cringe and look away anymore because I've had a revelation about how big and awesome my God is. That's what hard things do, they bring us to the reality of God's immense, overwhelming strength, a reality we can pass on to other, weak and battered human beings. We become better prepared for service in God's army of wounded soldiers. So maybe next time God puts something in my path that requires a bit of trust and dose of weakness I'll embrace it whole heartedly knowing that there might be another life saved at the end of it that isn't my own.

I know that this isn't always the case when God brings me through hard things. Smetimes I just need to learn a good lesson or be tested and tried. God's purpose remains though, its never about me but about the power of God being released more fully on earth. Nothing can remain in me that keeps that from happening. God has good works prepared for me (Eph 2:10) and He ntendw to have them fulfilled :) Isn't God cool! I cant believe He would actually consider me a part of His plan but He does. So amazing. I am blessed and loved.


Sincerely,

Jaelle the Weak