Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Through the Black

This is a short poem that I'm still working on but I like how it is so far. Please leave me your comments and criticism and let me know how I can improve :)




Through the Black

I will walk with You into the black
You'll have to keep my eyes from looking back
When I only want to take a glance
Just place inside my own Your steady hand
Grasp me tight and tell me of Your plans
Remind me how it feels to be romanced
And everything inside will learn to dance
As we walk together through the black
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2 comments:

  1. denicaAugust 13, 2010 at 10:26 PM

    I really like this:). My only thought is on the third line maybe do something like "When I only want to take a glance," because then it leads into the next line. :) Good job. I really like the last 3 lines.

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  2. Jaelle HamannAugust 17, 2010 at 7:06 PM

    Thanks Denica, I like that!

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